Why is my mind in this never ending rattle pondering into nothingness? Why do I worry about things that are yet to occur? It’s because the world has had a very subtle but yet dominating way of saying that you need to be somebody. That you need to walk on trails that have already been paved rather than creating your own path and being creative.
Sometimes, I just wish it could just shut down and I am sure everyone feels the same way. But obviously it would oppose the very purpose of having a brain in the first place.
I fail to find peace. Thoughts unsettle me.
At times, I fear losing people I have and most times, I feel alone. Such irony, but we all feel this way at some point. I feel like I have no one to talk to, I feel at loss of a confidante. With everyone enjoying their life, I feel like I am missing out on stuff.
But I get past it. It’s a phase.
The nights are the hardest because all my insecurities flash in front of me while I lay on the bed to sleep. The thoughts recur and they come back stronger. Sleep becomes far away destination and soon the sun rises.
Is there any solution to this ever? Do I have to live with this?
I found my compromise and landed a pretty satisfying deal with my brain. I realized how absolutely unfair it is to myself for comparing someone’s highlights to my ‘behind the scenes’. It made me different altogether. When I look at people doing good, I feel happy for them and get inspired and in no way, beat myself for not being at their place. My life is perfect in its own sense and so is everyone else’s.
Be your best friend as you will always be there for you. I am on my way to this self holistic way of life and there is no final abode to it. It is ongoing and progressive. The solace is in the now. You are fully present when the thinking-mind is off; you are conscious of your breathing or the sensation of inner body energy from top to bottom. It is a full body sensation where you exist and are completely free from time and space.
Not all situations and circumstances in your life pertaining to the present moment are going to make you happy. Regardless of what situation you are in, you cannot undo what is, because it already is. Any resistance to ‘what is’ will cause a much deeper level of pain than is unnecessary. The best thing that you can do in any situation of displeasure is either change the situation, change your attitude about the situation, leave if possible or accept it as it is. Anything else is resistance and will always cause great deals of pain.
Crossing this very bridge, you will find your solace.